Welcome to the sixth issue of the increasingly puzzling and puzzlingly popular Zolid Matters, the definitive newsletter of the British Jameld Association (or BJZ as it is known, for reasons which may or may not become apparent). Circulation of this edentate yet jocund publication has apparently doubled in recent times, although 'recent' is such a pleasingly vague word that we could probably claim almost anything and still be reasonably factual. Nevertheless, please take comfort in the knowledge that umpteen other likeminded individuals are also attempting to decipher the bits in Jameld just about now.
As part three of the educational series 'A Phrase A Quarter' (so named because 'A Couple of Phrases in Each Issue, which comes out every six months or so' just doesn't have that ring to it), we present the ultimate all-purpose restaurant phrase:
Waiter, this Armadillo and Quince Tartlet smells
Serfat, te Vërdindass und Quidon Tartja eri rëak ew wit~s.
Yes, sir. That would be the chef's aftershave.
Vävit: et'st te fertkokt'ü skarlotia, Eörel.
Legal Notice: 'A Phrase A Quarter' is a work of fiction. Any similarity to any person, restaurant or dish, living, dead or eaten, is purely coincidental and has nothing whatsoever to do with Mr Edvard Strel of the Sheep & Puma Tavern, Exmoor. All rights reserved.
The translation into Jameld of the Bible book of James was completed in November. All Jameldic work since then has been concentrated on preparing the next Vocabulary Update, a supplement to the Jameld Dictionary which will be nearly half as big as the dictionary itself. It'll take a while to put together, but all word information needs to be collected together in one place to aid any future translation. Eventually, copies of the Update will be distributed to Dictionary-owning members (whether they want it or not).
The first International Jameld Day will be on the 5th of July 1995. This being a Wednesday, most members will no doubt be at work, and therefore far too busy to get involved in anything so futile, but that seems strangely appropriate for such an occasion. All association members (this means you) will receive a lavish Language Promotion Pack, consisting of a velvet-lined mahogany case containing a New Edition Jameld Dictionary (leather-bound and gold-embossed), an engraved commemorative silver fountain pen, a beautiful emerald-encrusted BJZ brooch/tie-pin, three large glossy promotional International Jameld Day posters and a complimentary air ticket to Geneva for the International Jameld Conference. (N.B. It is possible that Association funds may be insufficient to provide these costly packs to all of our members. Therefore, some may receive instead the Super Fun Pack, which is a photocopied A4 flyer in an old Manilla envelope.) All are encouraged to give this inaugural IJD their full support; please send your blank cheques, credit cards and jewellery to the usual address.
Any requests for translations or suggestions for future editions of ZM should be sent to the address below, marked 'BJZ Information Desk: Voletrouser'. Claim your free gift! (Mice not provided.)
Inek waszë'st necht--Hauf! JJ.
Te Britaz Jameld Zolidaton
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